How to Avoid Flatterers by Andrew Oforma Eze

How to Avoid Flatterers

"Men are so happily absorbed in their own affairs and indulge in such self-deception that it is difficult for them not to befall victim to this plague; and some efforts to protect oneself from flatterers involve the risk of becoming despised. This is because the only way to safeguard yourself against flatterers is by letting people understanding that you are not offended by the truth; but if everyone can speak the truth to you then you lose respect. So a shrewd Prince should adopt a middle way, choosing wise men for his government and allowing only those the freedom to speak the truth to him, and then only concerning matters on which he asks their opinion, and nothing else. But he should also question them thoroughly and listen to what they say; then he should make up his own mind by himself. And his attitude toward his councils and towards each one of his advisers should be such that they will recognize that the more freely they speak out the more acceptable they will be… anyone who does not do this is ruined by flatterers" (Machiavelli, trans. 1999:75-6).
This is a golden rule.

Flatterers ask: how far, not how well? In other words, they ask how far not to contribute, but to spy and hear from you and give you unsolicited praise. They are politically smart and politically correct.

They will make evil appear good insofar as you are in good terms with them materially. A wise leader should safeguard himself against flatterers; he should fear them as if they were his declared enemies. They are not political virgins, but political villains.

There is no one reliable way to avoid flatterers because situation differs. But there is a sure way to avoid them irrespective of their kind. This is by letting them know that you are not offended by truth. A wise leader should always be a truth lover if it is easy for him; if it is not he should learn how to pretend. This is because he needs it.

As we have established, a wise leader should be a good listener; he should always be ready to listen to them, but take time in answering by keeping them off balance if he knows how to do it. Flatterers are political gossips. A leader should be careful with them, especially if he does not know what to answer them, he should keep quiet. Speaking can ruin him. They capitalize on any negative opinion. In case of problem, some will ill-judge you and turn against you, while others will be nowhere to be found.

Every servant knows the master he is serving more than the master knows him. He knows what pleases his master and what he detests. In order to win his favour he will be always doing or saying what pleases the master. Servants are usually finding it difficult to say the raw truth to their master without fine tuning it with some elements of lies because of fear of immediate reaction from the latter. Even Winston Churchill noted this when he said that truth is so precious that it must be guarded with bodyguard of lies.

Truth is but a raw material. More often than not it is a very painful thing; but a wise leader should be able to convince his servants that truth pleases him. It is not imperative that a wise leader should always follow or abide by the truth but it is very fundamental for him to know the actual thing (the truth).